Sunday, October 13, 2019

Amazon and Kohl's Surprising new Retail Friendship

As I was getting ready to return something on Amazon recently I was offered the choice to return the item at a nearby Kohl's instead of dropping it at a postal center, UPS or Amazon locker. All I had to do was select "return at Kohl's store" and it generated an email with a barcode that can be scanned on my phone at the store to process my return. No need to package it up or print any labels!

It was nice to see a retailer think of something new and convenient for customers that makes it easy to return something bought from Amazon and also gets people into their store; in this case Kohl's, a retailer I never otherwise frequent. Of course I spent money shopping at Kohl's while there, which is their plan. In fact they even printed me a 25% coupon with my Amazon return receipt.

Kohl's in Las Vegas
This is the kind of thinking that can help save retailers from having to close so many of their physical stores and go online. Many people still really enjoy shopping onsite. I know I do, and it's especially fun with a friend or family member or when shopping for a vacation, a new job, or a holiday. We just need retailers to stay fresh by being willing to try new ideas to draw us in and keep us there long enough to buy something. Kudos to Kohl's for their efforts!


Tuesday, October 1, 2019

On Days Like Today

For a long time I was afraid of her, holding the same preconceived notions that most strangers do - I even hid from her. Then a funny thing happened and we got to know each other and became friends. I started to see her through new eyes.
Now, she's my home and I've come to genuinely Love her! I wake up and she's happy to see me, when I'm hungry she provides more nourishment than I could dream of, if I'm feeling down and out she picks me up and shows me the wonders life, laughter and love, when I'm feeling alone she brings my friends to me, even ones that I hadn't previously met. When I'm with her she dazzles me with newness. She's always respected me and never tempted me with the things that earned her the moniker "Sin City". To me, she's wondrous, her beauty is raw and perfect, she is full of life and opportunity; warm, welcoming and resilient, she is constantly growing, she excites me every day...and is always, ALWAYS a lady.
Her history is so colorful and headline filled that even Rock Stars and Bikers are in awe of her, she's entertained Celebrities, Champs, Chairmen and a King, she's home to the brightest stars and billionaires, her allure is so magnetic that she pulls you into her orbit from across the globe.
She's had her fair share of tragedy, but she's always been able to get back up, compose herself and move into the future with grace.
Yes, I Love my darling Las Vegas and on days like today, she could use your thoughts and Love too! #VegasStrong




It seemed fitting to share this personal essay today that a friend and fellow Las Vegas local wrote, (with permission of course). It expresses perfectly how I also feel about this weird and WONDERFUL city that is my adopted hometown.


Sunday, August 11, 2019

Beverly Hills 90210, The Reality Reboot

TV Show reboots are so common these days it's not surprising that Beverly Hills 90210 launched their own six episode reboot last week. What is unusual and in my opinion makes it worth watching, is the way the reboot is formatted. 

Unlike other reboots of TV shows like Will & Grace and Hawaii Five-O, which stuck to the general format of their previous incarnations, BH90210 added a modern reality show twist to theirs. 

BH90210 features the same characters and actors, but the actors play themselves and not their characters. In the first episode of the reboot which aired last week, Jennie Garth, Tori Spelling, Jason Priestley, Ian Ziering, Brian Austin Green, Gabrielle Carteris, and yes even Shannon Doherty, are all appearing at a Beverly Hills 90210 fan convention. It's 2019 and they are all older, and not necessarily wiser.  

As the story unfolds their lives are revealed and we see the phony personas they present to the public. Turns out middle aged TV stars have problems just like the rest of us. Keeping in mind that the actors are playing themselves it's not necessarily their actual lives we're seeing in the show, but is based on certain truths gleaned from their real lives. For example, Tori Spelling has a lot of kids and money problems, Gabrielle is the president of an actors union, and Brian Austin Green (who is married to Megan Fox in real life), lives in the shadow of his wife's fame. The death of Luke Perry is addressed in the show as well. Unlike the original series, nothing is sugar coated. After all they're grown ups now, and so is their audience. 


L to R Gabrielle, Tori, Brian, Jason, Shannen, Jennie, Ian    Photo by Brian Bowen Smith/Fox

I always liked the premise of the original Beverly Hills 90210. Two teens move with their family from a suburb in Minnesota to Beverly Hills, California and experience all of the differences in attitude and lifestyle. Back then before smart phones and streaming, California was the center of all entertainment culture. As a young person who, just like the characters, lived in Minnesota when this show first aired, I imagined myself one day living in California and experiencing the same kinds of things they did. But at the time it seemed a distant dream. 

However, midway through the show's run I did in fact move to Beverly Hills 90210! I only lived in an apartment, not a mansion like their characters, but it was still Beverly Hills and I had my own experiences with different attitudes and culture. I moved there by myself which felt brave, and lived there alone two years until my older sister joined me for some of the time. It was a much faster paced life and I needed to be on guard and on top of things as L.A. is not for the weak; but it was also rich in possibility and opportunities for growth that I never could have had in Minnesota. I went to acting school for four years while living in 90210 and completed my training at Stella Adler Academy of Acting. It was one of the best times in my life and I will always remember it that way. 

So for me, Beverly Hills 90210 was a show that inspired. We'll see what BH90210 does! 

BH90210 Wednesdays on Fox.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Waking up with PTSD

I chose this day to start writing in my blog again since the subject is a large part of why I took a break from it. Today is National PTSD Awareness Day and it's time to share my experience. This is something that many people in my life don't know about.

Nobody ever expects to wake up one day with PTSD. You usually hear about it in regards to veterans and domestic abuse victims but it can also happen in other ways. In my case it was a violent crime last year and the aftermath that triggered the onset of this horrible, chronic condition. Although I am much better now I will never forget the daily, hourly and sometimes moment to moment terror that plagued me intermittently while I struggled to break free from what felt like a constant nightmare while awake.

On a sunny Monday out of nowhere last summer I turned to  close my car door to find the barrel of a gun in my eyes. If I had been paying more attention to my surroundings this may not have happened. So yes, I cooperated and was robbed in that moment but I survived the incident. Later that day was the attempted credit card fraud, then the aftermath of having my identity out there in the hands of criminals. There is whole a lot more to this but I'll leave it at that because this is not about the crime. It's about surviving PTSD. 

I remember little after the crime that afternoon in the haze of working with police and my bank, etc. What I remember most clearly is waking up the next morning with a strong sense of inner panic and fear.  That was only the beginning. A couple of weeks later I tried antidepressants, which in my case made it worse. One night was so bad I was certain I would not survive it alone. (PTSD sufferers have a very high rate of suicide.) My husband was out of town so I rushed myself to the hospital checking myself into the ER and was hospitalized for a night. This made the PTSD much worse because I was terrified of that happening again. Afterwards I was afraid of not only other people, but myself as well. Having been a level headed person with a happy disposition all my life, this was the worst part of it all. 

What I didn't understand at the time is that something in my brain had changed. I'm not a doctor but I now know from working with mine and my therapist that a sudden incident of trauma or violence can cause a type of temporary brain injury and condition, PTSD, that makes some normal things seem scary, off center and out of balance.  For me anything could set me off... seeing a gun on TV, hearing a loud noise, even someone ringing the doorbell would send me down a dark rabbit hole and a feeling of terror and disassociation. The disassociation was the worst. It made things seem not real, like I was losing it. This is where my therapist was the most helpful. She helped me learn grounding techniques such as deep breathing, grabbing a chunk of ice, reaching out to others, etc. Anything to break the rising inner hysteria of a flashback can help ground a person with PTSD. 

So many times I wanted to scream and cry and basically fall apart, but I never did. I continued to function normally on the outside to prove to myself that I could. Running an errand, getting the mail, meeting a friend for dinner when it was dark out, working a job, normal things were monumentally challenging. I couldn't be alone all night unless there was a friend or family member nearby. What if I had a panic attack? I didn't want any of my work colleagues to know because I didn't want them to think of me as damaged and unreliable, so I white knuckled it, took it hour by hour. I just knew if I could keep at my normal life then day by day I would find my comfort zone again. I think that's called exposure therapy. 

I was fortunate to have some down time too. I could nest on my sofa watching comedies (everything else triggered me). I'd use a heavy blanket which was calming, and still is. Yoga helped me to a degree I never expected. It gave me something to focus on when a panic attack arose. Stretch this, bend that, and breathe. I also consistently did meditation. Guided mediations and affirmations from Deepak Chopra, Steve Nobel and the music of Paul Luftenegger served as a salve to ease me through and quiet my mind from the constant anxiety. Listening with my headphones every time I went to bed and every morning when I woke up and during rising panic attacks slowly brought me back. I used daily drops of Non THC CBD Oil. Also being able to talk to family and friends when I was having a rough moment was like medicine too...the best kind.


It's been ten months now and I do not suffer on a regular basis anymore! I don't live in constant fear of the unknown or of a flashback or panic attack. The symptoms started to ease three months ago and have since become mild and sometimes even non existent.

I am grateful beyond belief that I can live my life without constant fear and anxiety.  With a smile on my face I can drive alone and run errands, do things with friends, work and travel. But I will always be more aware, more careful and on guard for anything that can happen to me.

Anyone reading this who has PTSD I have the deepest empathy for you. I hope you are finding your way out of despair and back to yourself, and that you have support from people and professionals as you need it. Prayer doesn't hurt either.  AW

Here are links to one of the songs and a meditation that helped me. 

Mending: Paul Luftenegger https://youtu.be/jTOGhlpBaT0