As we took off from the airport I felt such a sense of loss.
Not just from my mother passing away, but from the comfort of family I was leaving behind.
I knew going home and back to work was the right thing for me, but it was still difficult. In addition this was the first time leaving Minnesota knowing that I wouldn't ever be able to come back and see her again.
As we lifted off I just let my tears flow and stared out the window. Very quickly we were above the clouds. I noticed they were like a perfect blanket. Not a gap anywhere. The sky was beyond blue above them.....the sun was shining. After awhile I felt that this must be what heaven looks like.
I put my hand on the window and it was so warm from the sun that I then put my forehead right up against it. My face was instantly warmed. I felt so comforted when I did this that it made me cry even more but not just in grief. I also felt such a sense of peace in that moment. When I opened my eyes I smiled because the sun was reflecting brightly on the wing......right in front of me.
I have flown many many times. Only once do I remember seeing anything so beautiful. It was Mount Rainier, in perfect view on a flight to Washington state. In this moment the sun reflecting on the silver wing of an airplane, to me, was even more so.